Beauty From Pain

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see (to what I can't see)
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

    I am absolutely in LOVE with this song. I cannot even tell you how much it speaks to my heart. It is so hopeful while not sugarcoating any pain. The Lord will truly bring beauty from ashes and will not waste a single tear. I am truly blessed by this song.

Exercise gives you endorphines, Endorphines make you happy...

So I have always had a on and off relationship with exercise. I have always tried to be consistent but things have a way of distracting me, such as:
*business
*sickness
*pure laziness 
*tiredness
Anyhow, I started running again last night. I have a plan to get to running for a half hour straight. I am starting with running 2 minutes and walking for 3 and slowly building up to it. I am going to try to do this 3 or 4 times a week.   I actually really enjoyed running last night. I have been feeling pretty stressed and a bit down lately, and I think this is going to really help. 
I am really trying to keep this as more of a healthy thing rather than a looks or weight thing. I am also using it as a way to really think and process what's going on in my life. Anyway, this is what I am doing, here's to hoping it sticks. 

A Peek Into Our Lives

Dad and Aub :), Christmas Eve (the only picture I took at Christmastime, haha)

Andrew's Fun

And Mine

2 People, have LOTS of laundry

We are in a good habit of doing the dishes after every meal ,but sometimes they pile up

Andrew and his homework had some quality time this day

So did me and my homework

Sometimes, I forget about the mess and stress and relax with a girly show or movie. One of my favorite hobbies :)

 

 

 

We are truly blessed and I look forward to each day with my husband. Whether ordinary, or not. I am bad at taking pictures, but I am trying to get better at it. SO if you have any suggestions, let me know please!

Sin's Baited Hook

William Shakespeare. Sonnet CXXIX
The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad;
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

 How many times have I given in to temptation only to have it entrap me. Once you let a sin into 

your life, it is a weed that sucks the life out of you, It only gets bigger and bigger until you cut it off 

and kill it. Sin tempts us only to ruin us. It is fun at first but it always takes us further than we want

to go. In one of my classes we've been discussing sin and its affect on us. We are reading books 

like Dracula, Frankenstein, and Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Realizing that we all have a monstrous side 

 that threatens to take control of us. We must always be on our guard against temptation. No matter

how difficult it is. I think this sonnet my professor had us read explains this perfectly. Now, I don't 

 understand Shakespeare too well, but I really enjoy this sonnet. 

Pig Snouts and Finding God's love

Its a humbling and enlightening experience to have a semi-silly movie attempt to teach a lesson you have been trying to learn your whole life. The premise of the movie is the story of a girl named Penelope. She was born with a pig's snout. The only way to rid herself of this curse is by being loved by one of her own kind (high class/blue blood). Her mother brings in potential suitor after suitor, only to have them run from her once they catch a glimpse. Typically screaming along the way. Finally Penelope has enough, she runs from her sheltered life and finds her own way. She hides under a scarf, until one day, she is revealed to the public. To her surprise they love her! But she is only sen as the girl with the Pig's snout. She is proposed to by "one of her own", who also happens to be an arrogant jerk. She decides to not go through with the wedding, because she likes the way she is. At last, the curse is broken, and she can live a happy, normal life.

Okay, like I said, kinda silly movie, but I loved it. I have never been happy with how I look. Since I can remember, I have wanted to change myself. Too short, too fat, don't like my hair, and the list goes on. I have a countless number of things I would change about myself. Particularly physical, but not always. I have never had hope for victory in this area, ever. But I have realized that this is truly a lack of faith. God is greater than this. He can claim victory in all areas of my life. Now, it will not be a quick and easy road, I know that this is going to be probably one the hardest things I ever do,and I know its going to be quite a journey to get there.

But it begins, now. So any verses, words of encouragement, or stories of victory, would be much appreciated. Love to all.


Victory is my word for 2011, not sure of a verse as of yet, but one of these three is probable.

Psalm 20:6
Now this I know: The LORD gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand.


Psalm 149:4
For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.

1 Corinthians 15:57
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
 

Hopes, Dreams, and Wishes for the New year...and Blessings from the Last

Blessings in 2010:
*Marriage- July 31st..What a journey it is to discover so much about the one you love, and yourself. Andrew has been such an amazing part of my life and continues to be a healing presence in my life. It has taught both of us so much in the short time we've been married. In 5 months, God can show you so much and grow you in so many areas.
 *Family- Without them, I don't know how Andrew and I could do this. Marriage, school, and work, super insane, but we are so blessed to have wonderfully supportive and amazing families! Not to mention the new family I gained this year. What wonderful people to have surround us with support and love.
*Friends- We would not be where we are without the wonderful people we are blessed to call friends. My girlfriends specifically have just been an amazing blessing in my life. I love you all and appreciate each of our friendships I know Andrew appreciates that I can be completely girly with you guys, so I don't overwhelm him with my giddiness and love of Chick-Flicks/Disney Movies. Not to mention, I am a verbal processor, and one husband can only handle so much :)
*Our Jobs- I am extremely blessed to work for the Berger family. They are some of the kindest and most generous people I have ever met. Being away from my family is hard, but it helps to feel like i am a part of their family. The girls bring so much joy in my life and remind me what simple faith looks like and what true joy does as well.
Andrew and I will both praise the day that he no longer has to work at Jimmy Johns, but we are extremely thankful for it now. Andrew has been blessed to be a shift manager and has also been trusted enough to be the main shift manager at night. He is a hard worker and is very trustworthy, and his boss knows it, which is a ture blessing.
*Our Home- We live in a little apartment Downtown Chicago, and absolutely LOVE it. It's small, but so are we, so it fits us just right. It feels like home. We have so enjoyed just getting to spend time with each other relaxing at our own place. No money spending, no walking in crazy Chicago weather. What a blessing to have a couch to cozy up on and movies to watch. :)
*Ministry-We are working with the Harvest Baptist Youth Group, and its wonderful. It is a weekly reminder of why we are doing what we're doing and that it will all be worth it. The main girls I work with have been growing so much this last year, and I am so proud of them. The whole youth group has seen a lot of growth and change and it is so neat to see God work.

There have been many other little blessings, and God has been so faithful to us in 2010. He is an amazing provider, and it is such a blessing to trust in His sovereignty.

Hopes, Dreams, and Wishes for 2011:
* Graduate: I will, Lord willing, graduate in May, and Andrew will graduate in December. 4 years of college has tested our limits, our faith, and our minds, and has been a great blessing in our lives. With this being said, when I walk across that stage, and get my diploma, I am going to celebrate like I never have. :)
*My Internship- This summer I will be doing my internship that is required for graduation. I am very excited about it! It will be a peek into what my future could hold. As of now, I will most likely be doing this at New Life, and it will be such a great opportunity!
*Grow- In my relationship to the Lord, my marriage, and even my cooking skills. I know the Lord will lead me where he wants me, and that also means some hard times that force growth and change, but i also know that He will be there through everything. Our marriage is new and we have far to go, and its a journey, and it will be an exciting journey ahead. Cooking will come with time and work. I will praise the day when frozen pizza and Mac N' Cheese are no longer staples in our home. Here's to hoping that when I actually have the time, I use it and work hard to expand my cooking skills.

We have no idea where we will be and what we will be doing a year from now. That is scary and exciting. We trust the Lord to lead us, and it will be fun to see where we end up. Thank you all for your support and prayers. We love you!!

P.S. I am going to think and pray these next few days for a verse and a word for 2011. I've seen a lot of people do this, and I think it is a challenging and encouraging thing to do. I'll keep you posted.

Alyssa

Dreams, and Desires for Life after Moody

1. No More Mac N' Cheese, Frozen Pizza, and Chicken Nuggets/Fries as complete staple foods. We have had our fill

2. Learn to Sew

3.Read for Fun (I really love to read and miss doing it for fun)

4. More time, for everything (friends, family,etc.)

5. No More HOMEWORK!!!!!!!! (papers, studying, etc.)

6. No more twitching eye! (when at my most stressed my eye twitches, bleh, no fun)

7. Get really connected to a church (small group, bible study, etc)

Now I will get a taste of some of these things in 13 days, 12 hours and 38 minutes for winter break which will be fabulous!

I really appreciate Moody and the wonderful times, but I am looking forward to the next stage in life